Garden Variety Family

Garden Variety

garden variety -- common, usual, or ordinary; unexceptional.

I chose the name Garden Variety Family for my website for many reasons.  First, for the dictionary definition as highlighted above.  Secondly, for the words individually.

Gardens are beautiful--variety is the spice of life put them together and you get... nothing special!  That's just weird!

Lets break this down for a minute.

Garden: I am a gardener.  To me a garden is naturally about a variety of plants that create a beautiful environment in which to relax and play.  One of my gardening philosophies is to get plants from others, sharing plants and adding them to my garden is kind of like the art of quilting for others.  I know where all the plants came from and how I acquired them makes those people a part of my beautiful yard. The stories that are passed with the plants aren't things I'll learn from a garden store.  Variety is key!  The varieties of color, texture, height, landscapes are what make a garden.

Variety: So the word garden just naturally leads to variety.  I love variety, in all my life. I have sought out variety through travel, education, friends, food, art, hobbies.  How much variety do we see in our families, from variety of appearance to variety of personality and interests?  It's great, it makes things interesting.

Family: To me, my husband and I are a family, but all the definitions say we have to be parents.  We'd like to be parents, but if we never become parents would we not be a family?  Well in my little realm, we are.  Some definitions also say a family is made up of people joined by blood.  Now, where does that leave the adopted child?  If people can disown family members it seems that we can also decide who we will "own" as family members.  Family values should be built on love, encouragement, nourishment of mind, body and soul, shared joy and struggle, support and forgiveness--all really special things that everyone, regardless of who they are or where they came from, should have in life.

So put them together and to me, a Garden Variety Family is all families!  We are all the different, we laugh, and cry together, we drive each other crazy but we love each other.  We are ordinary because we are all different and unique.  So this crazy combination of contradiction is the founder of my blog--Garden Variety Family.

accepted

Today I went to pick up our marriage certificate.  Our birth certificates arrived as well.  We didn't pay for priority handling and they arrived sooner than the priority handling guarantee.

After arriving home there was a message from Lindsey at Great Wall saying that our application has been accepted!  Tears of joy...quietly I'd been afraid the gauntlet of reviewers would deem us unsuitable to be parents.  Rationally, I know this is ridiculous, but when your fate is in someone else's hands....

So, let the paper chase begin!

To our little soul not yet born in China, mommy and daddy are one step closer. 

we did it!

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" ~ Chinese proverb

Hubby and I finally did it.  We completed step one.  We decided on an agency, filled out our initial application for our adoption and mailed it!  I had such a busy day yesterday, that the application kept sitting around waiting to be sent.  I was kinda afraid to send it so I let my business be my excuse.

Dropping that application in the mailbox is initiating a chain of events that will take 2 years to complete!

It is such a deliberate way to start a family!  There is no little symbol that magically appears when you pee on a strip of paper that reveals the results of yummy passion that occurred a few weeks ago. 

Our seed is being driven, flown unstoppable by the USPS to Texas to be fertilized (hopefully) by Great Wall China Adoption.  There in lies my fear, I am afraid they may not accept us. 

Maybe our net worth isn't enough.  I spent the past couple weeks trying to get those figures together, trying to guesstimate as best I could the things that make us worthy to have a child. 

In my heart I believe we have a daughter already.  She is concieved in our minds and our hearts and not yet even thought of by her birth mother, but we have stepped onto that great wall that will bring us to her.  When we are done crossing the time and distance to her, I am sure it will feel like we have walked ever step of China's great barrier that will not keep us from her but rather lead us to her. 

certifying our existence

Naturally part of the dossier is getting together proof that my husband and I are who we say we are.  We have been advised by our agency that we will need 2-3 copies of our birth certificates and 2 copies of our marriage certificate.  They referred us to vitalchek, an on-line company that will obtain records: birth, marriage, divorce and death, for you from anywhere in the country and send them to you for a fee.

The fees for each state are different, which appears to be based on what that state charges for the particular document requested plus vitalchek's processing fee. The fees charged seem to be somewhat in line with each state's office of vital records.  I checked 2 states that apply to us, New York and Missouri.  Rather than going to all the government sites to obtain your records, you can accomplish the same thing on one site.  However; I did notice that if you don't mind waiting longer, mailing your request is cheaper at least in New York but, you are going to wait --3-4 weeks-- and you have to provide a copy of your license or passport.

Please note that a marriage license, it is a whopping $45 each, since we need multiple copies, this seems a bit tough to swallow.  We happen to live in the town where we obtained our marriage license, after contacting the town clerk, I learned it is only $10 a copy.  All I have to do is go to the town clerk and I will have my record, no waiting!!!  So if you are out there trying to get vital records for any purpose I suggest you check out these three options. 

One more bit of advise, be sure the record you are purchasing is a "certified copy"  something with a raised seal that is acceptable for legal purposes.  There are a lot of genealogy sites, or sections of sites, out there where you can obtain "unofficial" copies for building family trees, etc.  These are not what you want.  More to come....

what to expect when you're expecting

I ran into the pet store last night to get some food for the only "babies" I have right now, 2 cats and a rabbit.  There in the store was a tall blond woman with a little Asian girl, about 2 years old.  How easily the emotions fly these days!  Without warning my eyes welled with tears as I longed to run over to ask her about her beautiful little girl and tell her how I hope to be in her shoes soon.  Is 2 years soon?  Well, it is as soon as I'll get -- from what I have learned from all my research. 

I am anxiously awaiting another packet of information today.  I want to get the process rolling but I feel like we have to make the right decision choosing our agency or facilitator so that we don't regret our decision later.  I really like to be an informed consumer, and lets face it that is what we are, a consumer of service.  This is my, "What to Expect When You're Expecting".  I am expecting to pick an agency, expecting a lot of paperwork, expecting a lot of fees, expecting a long wait, expecting a lot of emotion, expecting a baby, expecting a life change... 

best packet yet!

Well, we received what looks to me to be the best packet of information yet!  Great Wall China Adoption agency does China only adoptions.  It makes me feel more comfortable that their singular focus is China.  They sent a DVD that outlined their whole program.  Other agencies sent DVD's that were just fluffy music videos that featured an adoption theme.  They are definitely emotional and pull at your heartstrings, making you want to do an adoption but they just don't tell you much about it.  I feel like this is the first agency that gave us the closest idea of what the whole process will be like from beginning to end.

Thank you Great Wall!