family planning along the china road

I just posted about China Road by Rob Gifford yesterday. I am 3/4 of the way through. I knew the subject would come up eventually, I hadn't realized it would be today, the following morning.  Chapter 15. Mr. Gifford unexpectedly finds himself in conversation with a middle-aged female doctor who works for the state enforcing the one-child policy. Matter-of-fact for her, horrifying for Mr. Gifford, certainly for the reader--ME! I was numb as a read the words now I can barely see the keys as I type. This is China, something I must accept. China is my womb. Both my physical womb and my adoption womb can leave me engulfed in a myriad of emotion--lost...angry...sad...anxious...joyful... all wrapped up in something that I cannot touch or see. I want to just scream!!! PLEASE JUST STOP THIS MADNESS-THEIR FAMILIES ARE RIGHT HERE WAITING, WAITING ENDLESSLY FOR THE SOULS YOU ARE KILLING!

There is also a hopeful article that appeared in the China Daily. China subsidizes a 2 week heritage tour for children adopted from China. It was full of positive experiences for children and parents alike for the U.S., Australia, and Canada. I don't even have my child yet but I am already planning this trip. It is so important for them to be connected in any possible way to their roots.

A young participant was quoted as saying:

It disappointed me to think I was one of those kids that no one really wanted," she said. "I sort of regret going there. I imagined it special, but it was not. I was one of those kids who were useless, unimportant to their birth parents, just dumped somewhere.                             Photo and quote from China Daily by Ron Hollander.

I say, NO! you were not unimportant to your birth parents they may have done everything in their power to give you life. Women are dragged into clinics for forced abortions. No one knows the system better than your birth parents they did what they could to give you life and give you a LIFE! All circumstances are different but we have no understanding for the social climate in China, we may never understand.

Comments

[Teri]

As a birthmother I can sincerely say that I believe that at least 99% of birthmothers NEVER forget a child they gave up. In China they have no choice and many in America have no choice either, but for different reasons. It doesn't mean we don't mourn for the child we no longer have or can replace that child. It doesn't work. As the sister to an adoptee and a reunited birth mother I have been around adoption issues my entire life and I'm a strong advocate for open adoption records. So much so that I have a website devoted to helping bring this about at www.AdoptionRecords.com . I also wrote a song called "Child I Cannot Claim" that is on the website. My sincerest wish is that all birth families find the closure they so desperately need. Whether for the good or the bad, one way or the other, the outcome will forever fix the lives involved.