Garden Variety Family

asian stereotypes

I was just finished watching Dancing with the Stars, yes Steve and I enjoy it as we have taken ballroom dancing classes for quite some time now. Today they had a kitschy DanceCenter sketch spoofing  SportsCenter with Len Goodman, Kenny Mayne, and Jerry Rice. Its purpose is to create some comic relief. Seeing Jerry Rice in glittery eye shadow was comical enough but somehow they found the need to call Kristi Yamaguchi a China Doll. This was obviously pre-scripted and quite frankly I can't believe they put it in there. China doll is a derogatory and stereotypical remark implying a subservient submissiveness in Asian women. First of all Kristi Yamaguchi is Japanese. There are many racial stereotypes that would never be allowed on a prime time family television show yet the pervasiveness of Asian stereotypes continues. It is about time that the American public be more sensitive to a true minority group in this country. Asians make up only 5% of the American population but there is no reason to marginalize them with continued and unchecked use of stereotypes.

another window into the world of China

Last week Steven, my in-laws and I ventured to Washington DC to pick up Steven's aunts who came to visit from Korea for the first time in 15 years. We had a wonderful time. Before they arrived I actually got my in-laws onto airport shuttles, metro buses and the subway to get a look at sweet little Tai shan the baby panda at the National Zoo. The experience was a small connection to China, a minute connection to our daughter. A connection that is huge in so many ways.

Check out this NPR Blog, Chengdu Diary which features facts and notes being collected on all things China in anticipation of an All Things Considered series set to air from May 19-23. I know that for me I long for all these small connections to China as I wait for my daughter. I am thrilled for the Olympics to be in China -- I'll have a window into my future child's world.  My eyes will fill with visions of the landscapes, architectures and histories that make up this fascinating empire, this generous country that will entrust me and Steven with the care of one of her daughters.

Need a little enticement. There is nothing like a gratuitous baby panda flick to get you in the mood for all things China. Chengdu is at the heart of China where the Woolong Panda preserve conducts vital research to save the panda from extinction. Check out this video of living snuggle bears. Too cute.

a little thought on racial identity

I want my kids to be healthy, happy, to contribute in some way. I want them to be broad-minded. We don’t talk about racial identity around the dinner table, but there are lots of opportunities to educate your children. Years ago, I was telling my son the story of the tortoise and the hare, and when it came to the part where the tortoise was being teased, we talked about it. I asked him, “What could you do about that?” We discussed that when you see something wrong, you speak up.                -Charmaine Wijeyesinghe

                                                       -as it appeared the UMass Alumni Magazine

         
         
         

Barack Obama is not a black man

A guest on National Public Radio's News and Notes said in a conversation (that I only heard a portion of) that in our society, white women can give birth to black babies, but black women can only give birth to a black baby and similarly for Asian women. The point being that if you are even just a smidgeon black, then that is what you are---hence the erroneous saying that "If you're not white, you're black!"

First of all, why this all matters is beyond me. Second of all, why can't we be interracial?  We are all pretty much interracial anyway. Why doesn't Barack Obama say, "you know I am white too; I am interracial".  While I am not endorsing a presidential candidate (I am not actually sure who I will vote for), I do think it would be awesome if we had an interracial president whose middle name is Hussein! It would somewhat improve, or at least alter the world's perception of our country.

My husband is the "Chinese" guy, while he really isn't Chinese. It seems that he can't just be Steve or the guy in the blue shirt. Aren't there other ways to identify a person? One's race still trumps anything else about a person. Barack Obama is black, but he is also white, Tiger Woods is black, but he is also Asian. But to the media, and to the world---they are black.

the McCain adoption connection

In South Carolina someone drummed up a controversy based on the fact that Bridget McCain doesn't physically look like her parents. The circulating rumor...that she was the illegitimate child of John McCain and a black prostitute. How absurd can someone be? If this was the case can you imagine that someone in politics would actually have the child produced by such a relationship living with them? How idiotic can people be? Bridget is Cindy and John McCain's daughter and it is a shame that she must be "explained". (This originally came up back in 2000. I am bringing it up now because I didn't know about this until I read today's USA Today.)

Will I have to "explain" my daughter? To someone like that who made those comments, most certainly not! To someone who is legitimately curious and asks nicely -- I will educate.

Adoption happens, folks. The fact that someone can stir up controversy about the legitimacy of a child or the fidelity of their parents based on the appearance of a child is ridiculous. This kind of thing needs to stop. My last post featuring the ducklings illustrates my point. This post is turning out to be an extension of it.

In this same article John McCain indicates that "the best indicator" of his wife Cindy's character is the fact that she brought home a girl from Bangladesh to be adopted into the family. She did so without the hopeful Republican presidential nominee's knowledge. It takes a lot of consideration and education before bringing a child into your home as an adoptee. I could never presume to make that decision for my husband. But just as I don't want people to question how I decide to have children, I cannot question the McCains' motives either.

Will sixteen year-old Bridget McCain become a political feather in her father's cap? Unfortunately in this day and age, I suppose she will. Hillary Clinton is forced to address gender because the USA can't see her as simply  a candidate for president. Barack Obama cannot skirt the race issue because this country is obsessed with race and he is perceived as a black man. McCain will have to champion adoption, as his daughter is visibly different from her family. We are a country built on diversity--surrounded by it, but for some reason we can't get used to it. Weird but true. Unfortunate? Yes, but it is necessary that all these issues are being thrust into our collective consciousness yet again. We learn from repetition.

and your point is...

I got this picture in one of those viral e-mails with  gratuitous cute animal pictures. I love ducks, they are adorable, but the caption... it implies that adoption is something negative, that being adopted is something less or deficient.

My response: my darling, you were hatched just like all of your friends, just like me, just like your siblings.

Being adopted into a family is as wonderful as being born into one. It is just as joyous, just as miraculous.

I suppose I am coming across as overly sensitive. But truly I am just seizing and educational moment.

nearly a year of waiting

Well here we are at tax time again. Last year we got our taxes in close to the wire, not quite on it. And here we are doing it again. I am self employed so it can be a bit more involved, that is only part of my excuse... Last year at this time we were scrambling to get out final paperwork, --five months worth of appointments, notarizations, inspections, classes, forms, forms, forms, advanced reading comprehension, fingerprints, countless phone calls, innumerable e-mails, did I say forms?-- for our adoption; done, submitted, and off our plates. And yes it all came to a head during latter tax season. So naturally every year we have to update our home study and get re-approved and now every year that will be falling at this time. Uugh, poor planning on my part, my only relief is that I didn't actually plan it that way.I am not much of a planner as I am sure I have mentioned. That is what makes this adoption such a great thing for my because it is forcing me to think ahead a little. So far the road to our child has been business-like and definitely removed from the end product. I get the feeling some times that the good ole US of A is more worried about allowing and alien into the country than they are about making sure this "alien" is cared for and loved. While last year all the paperwork was submitted and I felt a sense of accomplishment for having gotten it done, it was a let-down because I got no reward for all that work. This year I have to renew some paperwork now, because it expires after a year, and in a few months I'll be on the paper chase again because some of the paperwork expires in 18 months! Thankfully I have people prompting me when to get to work because I have no idea how I would keep track of all this. To top it off the feds are changing the rules on the I600-A and we are still not sure if we are falling under new rules or being grandfathered in to former rules. All this after only a year and our wait could be three years! I don't write all this to be discouraging. It all sounds rather cold but there is a pay-off at the end --the unpredictable end-- of this path. I don't aim to be discouraging just realistic. To me this is all so much better than the hoops and unpredictability involved with infertility treatments. Not to mention the cost, the hormones, and the toll it so often takes on relationships. I have no ultrasound photo to show, I have so much more--