anti-adoption sentiments on the web

I have just been on a trip around the internet reading blogs and articles about those who are against adoption. They started from comments posted on an infertile blonde. As a mother who would do anything for my child I am speechless. Most of what I read was from people adopted long ago when adoption was not spoken of, swept under the rug, when young single women were coerced or forced to give up their infants for adoption. I am always horrified when I read such stories, see movies, or hear of cases like these. I believe it was wrong but this is not the only adoption scenario out there, certainly today, more and more young women are keeping their babies. But that doesn't change the fact that there are grey areas in every issue, individual circumstance, different details. My son will know his, and with any luck he will know all the people in his triad. There were so many hurtful things said about adoptive parents in the things I read today, I am still trying to process it. Everything I read was so black and white: assuming that their experiences, their feelings, their reasons, their circumstances are those of their counterparts. I don't know what to say. I can't begin to tackle the tangled emotions and thoughts that are broiling in my head right now.

Comments

[twitter.com/Tom_Collins]

Hi Karin,

The first thing is to know - deeply - that anyone who knows you and Steve would never say such stupid, hurtful things.

Then, we have to accept that some people will still rationalize it by calling you an "exception" (you ARE exceptional, after all) and cling to notions that fit with their bigotries and personal experiences.

And then, please know that by your living examples, you, Steve, and especially Your Little Truffle, will contribute to changing attitudes over time.

A glance at history shows that attitudes do change; just not often within the lifetime of individuals. Is it enough to be part of causing the change?

Of course, the pace of change has been accelerating for decades. So just maybe - like the election of Obama - this will be a positive change that can happen sooner than we might expect?

Tom

[Kelly]

After you posted this, I backtracked and read all of Becky's blog. Then I read the comments that you spoke of, I can see now how you were reeling, as right now I am reeling as well. I've tried my best as an adoptive mother to make sure that I am well read on all kinds of issues that could come up, to also read about how adoption had been in the past, and have tried to stay as current as I can on current events in the adoption world, as always I try my best to be open and honest with all of my daughters, to be a supportive and loving mother to all of my girls. It is amazing to me that people can be so sure that everyone's experience matches their own exactly.